We’re all superheroes ok?
I just want to get that out there, right from the get go.
Shit happens to people. You, me, your friend, colleague, the stranger you shared a joke with at the supermarket. Even the dumbass driver who cut you up on your way to work this morning.
Tragedies happen all the time. Just turn on Sky news for 5 minutes to prove that point. Somehow, people overcome the most awful situations, all the time, with what appear to be superhero powers. They carry on with life. To the outside world, it appears that things literally carry on as normal. Jokes are cracked, birthdays are celebrated and projects are completed.
The thing about superheroes is, they often don’t realise just how awesome their powers are. To them it’s normal. Just right for dealing with their very own villains. They look at what they have to overcome, decide what they can live with and find a way of doing what needs to be done to kickass and protect the ones they love.
They may look at another superhero and thank their lucky stars that they don’t have to deal with that ones foes! Wonder how the heck they’d cope with that situation?
That’s what we all do every day. You may acknowledge and realise that your situation/grief/heartache is unimaginably painful, but think that things could be worse. After all, there’s a whole world of sadness out there trying to prove you right.
If there’s anything I’ve learnt since my own world exploded is that it’s important to be a bit selfish with your grief. In fact, I’ve found it’s a pretty darn vital part of the ‘healing’ process. I say healing with a pinch of salt because as yet I’m not sure how true healing can or will ever actually happen but I do acknowledge that it’s beginning to feel easier to breathe.
What I know is that after losing my dad and my brother, the worst thing said to me was that ‘it could be worse’.
WTF? Seriously, things unimaginable to even my paranoid South African brain have happened and you’re telling me it could be worse? I don’t actually care about how but OK. If that’s what’s expected, I’ll just carry on as normal.
16 months after my brother and 18 months after dad left us, both without us getting a chance to say goodbye (the buggers!), I finally had to admit that I wasn’t coping.
I hit a grief wall and needed some help. I found help really hard to ask for but it’s working. Slowly.
Slowly but surely and I’ll share some more on that in another post.
Right now I want you to know that it’s ok to ask for help. No matter what you are dealing with, your pain is real and practically impossible to manage entirely on your own.
Don’t be fooled by the lone superhero image. All superheroes have help. None of them are able to save the day on their own. They all have their side-kicks and support buddies in the wings waiting and willing to pick them up, dust them off, give them some TLC and a gentle kick up the backside before cheering them on their way again.
When I needed it, my support team was there. They were there at the beginning and they’ve been there the whole time and I’m so thankful to them and the new players who have joined in as well.
Your team is there too, waiting to do what needs to be done. With love and cheerleading pompoms (or not)!
Just let them know you’re ready.
If you know a superhero who may need reminding that you’re there for them, please share this their way.