This is a long path we take, when we lose anyone we love. As all of you reading this will know, losing someone through violent crime is something else again. This was not inevitable. An act of chance or nature. This was something another human being went, with deliberate intent, prepared to do if […]
An invitation
Grief & grieving… What comes to mind when you think about ‘grief’? We’d love to know! As many of you know, Jeremy – Gumby – my son, was lost to violent crime in South Africa nearly 7 1/2 years ago. This, you probably think, is something to relate to grief, which would be true. However, […]
Seven years now and life goes on…
Finally, an update. The last years have been hectic and I just don’t know where they went! Last March found me facing the ‘alleged’ murderers in court in Mthata in ……, or at least the four that are still alive. It was something I didn’t want to do but I had always said to […]
So Live Your Life … and 6 years on
Live Your Life So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the […]
Going ‘public’
Hi, Man, this still sucks! I really want to write and be present on here and show up consistently but to be completely honest, lately it feels like if I do stuff on the blog it means I have to think about what happened and acknowledge that he’s no longer here. WTF? You would be […]
Lemonade Please. No Sugar
I think life gives you lemons, and the thing that I’m working on doing is not watering it down, not putting sugar in it. Just drink it straight. The more you can take life head on… it’s gonna make you a better person, and then you have nothing left to be afraid of. And what […]
Talking about our feelings
Anything that’s human is mentionable, & anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, & less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. (Fred Rogers) How is it that sometimes things can […]
The Opportunity of Adversity
“Adversity isn’t an obstacle that we need to get around in order to resume living our life. It’s part of our life. And I tend to think of it like my shadow. Sometimes I see a lot of it, sometimes there’s very little, but it’s always with me.” This woman, Aimee Mullins, is totally inspiring. […]
This Momentous Day
Today it’s been 2 years since Gumby died. The world still feels shit without him! I was wondering what to write & looking through some old photo’s & papers when I came across a scrap of paper from many years ago. I’d written this down after being incredibly motivated by it in a book by […]
Waves of Grief
Oh boy. I better warn you – this may be a tear-jerker. A good friend asked me the other day how I am doing. He & his family have had their share of deep, close, ‘should never happen’ loss & they also knew my dad & brother well so it helps to talk to him. […]