Going ‘public’

Hi,

Man, this still sucks! I really want to write and be present on here and show up consistently but to be completely honest, lately it feels like if I do stuff on the blog it means I have to think about what happened and acknowledge that he’s no longer here. WTF? You would be right to think its a bit strange as he hasn’t been here for quite a while now and it didn’t stop me before! I know – weird, right?

It is f**ing weird. It’s like by not thinking about things/Jeremy and by not coming on here, I can stay numb and in denial about the whole thing for just a little bit longer. Very ostrich like! (head in the sand and all that!)

Well, the last couple of weeks have kind of changed all that a bit. After much deliberation and discussion with a few people, mom and I decided that maybe it was time to actually get his/our story out there a bit more publicly. Unfortunately, it seems that things in SA were not going anywhere, anytime soon and we are hopeful that by speaking out, things may get moving again and we can get some closure with the trial actually going ahead. Also, what’s happened is wrong and shouldn’t be happening and yet our story is so not unique.

What’s happened then is that some truly wonderful, lovely people came from BBC Wales to interview us and all through today, there’s going to be a couple of radio, tv and online news stories out there with pics and details about what happened to Gumby.  Hopefully much more factual and detailed than the very brief story there was previously and questions have been asked about a few things that have or haven’t happened too. I would like to hide all day. Not sure why I feel like that but I do. I can’t though! I also feel an incredibly huge amount of empathy and love for people who’ve had to do this as well. It truly is not an easy thing to do.

Because of all that, my head has been well and truly yanked out the sand! I went through his old files on the computer to look for photos and looked through some videos which I’ve never watched before. Very surreal to see someone you love on film. Pretty cathartic too I guess. A relief to hear his laugh and see that he’s still exactly the same lol! Starting to think of ways that some of them can be shared with those of you who might like to see them.

So, if you’ve come here after seeing anything on the news or you’re just here to see what’s going on then say hi! It’s good to connect with people. Also, if you would like to learn a bit more about Gumby  or what happened then you’re welcome to do that too! He was pretty special!!!

Much love xx