Happy Birthday baby brother!!
Today you would have been thirty four years old. This last year you would have kicked ass in your ‘new’ dream job, you would have shivered your ass off here with mom and me, you would have started building your ideal home and been arranging things for your perfect garden centre….but above all you would ‘still’ have been a loving son and brother, kind uncle and great friend.
Today I would have called you up and asked you our traditional question: ‘Do you feel any different?’ I imagine your usual answer that ‘’no, it doesn’t’’ isn’t really true now. I would have told you how much I loved you, been sorry not to be with you. We would have sung happy birthday and Brooke would have wanted to be invited to your party. We would have joked that even though we’re far away, we’re still close and need a piece of cake, hugs and kisses. You would have gone for a surf, had an awesome day and finished off with a braai, smoke and beers with your mates in Sordies.
What can be said? When someone we love dies, be it a family member or close friend, we lose what was normal. Life changes as our sense of love, trust, emotional security, confidence and safety are all scattered into a million jumbled up pieces of broken heart.
Baby brother: I am still wishing you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! because “You” coming to this life was a great gift for so many people that I will still celebrate it every year. It is my way to say; I haven’t forgotten you, I miss you, I miss your jokes and I miss having you around. You are always on our minds; you will remain forever a part of us, of our memory, history, of who we really are with a legacy to learn from. Your qualities and the “Man” you lived to be will continue to be inspirational and remembered for always.
Gumby, your life was short yet beautiful and meaningful.
I picture you telling us:
Don’t cry anymore tears for me
I am at peace; I am finally free
Like the eagle in the sky,
I am soaring, so please don’t cry
I know you love me,
I love you too,
But my time was over,
Was finally through.
I have ascended to a better place
Which is not confined by time or space
To those that loved me,
I did not fall,
I only succumbed to a higher call.
Do not mourn me,
I am with you still,
I will be with you always,
I hope that although this post is personal, it can be seen as universal in its message. The hole left in our lives and the pain associated with losing someone we love whether it is a family member or a close friend, is one of the biggest challenges anyone can face.
It takes time to overcome, grieve and heal from the heartache but maybe there can be positives. Maybe it’s possible to learn to forgive faster, argue less and say I love you often. Learn to cherish every minute spent with those you love. Remember priceless memories together and laugh at them together while you still can.
And always know that even if someone is not physically in your life, it does not mean that you forget them or that they aren’t always on your mind.
Rest in peace guys – we love you xox